6th of Calistril, 4712AR
This morning we awoke in the, ominously free of corpses, Thorn River Camp. Having behead almost all of these vagabonds myself, I am very leery of meeting these corpses again. We did not tarry in that grim camp longer than we had to, making our way back to Oleg’s. As we traveled Mitchel flipped through books of sheet music.
We rode into Oleg’s trading post perhaps a little more triumphantly than we should have. We were greeted by the cheers of our friends. Then when we relieved the heads of the black tatzlwyrms much to the chagrin and disbelief of everyone in the fort.
Schmidtaki, "Ta DAaaaa! There you go Oleg, we got you that tatzlwyrm head you wanted. And not just one but two of ‘em. Have you ever seen black one? I haven’t you should probably get us a little extra for these after all they are especial. "
Oleg, “Um ok. Ya, sure. But didn’t you say you were going to take care of the Stag Lord yesterday. You know avenge the guard that died, burned Bokken’s hut to the ground, and nearly did the same.”
Schmidtaki, “What? No, wait…”
Bokken, “They burned everything.”
Schmidtaki, "Ya you keep saying that buddy. You should probably find something else to talk about, it’s called the art of conversation. And as for the Stag Lord, no. I thought I made that clear, we said that we would take care of the mites at the old sycamore then hunt you down a tatzlwyrm. Today is Stag Lord.
Oleg, “No. I distinctly remember you saying that you were going to tackle the Stag Lord yesterday. Plus he seems like more of a priority as far as problems go.”
Schmidtaki, “Well ya wanted to but Rainfall over there wouldn’t let up about the mites. So we had to put that off for today.”
Schmidtaki, “Yesterday mites and tatzlwyrm. Today Stag Lord.”
Rainfall," The mites took like no time and…"
Schmidtaki, “See, he couldn’t be reasoned with. We to put it off for today. But don’t worry today is the day we take this Stag Lord down. You know if you guys would just recognizing me a the leader of this expedition we wouldn’t have this problem.”
Aramis, "Woo ho ho. There will be no usurping of my position on my watch. Lest I remind you of my charter.
Schmidtaki, “Ya but a mite bon fire and tatzlwyrm hunt happen on your watch. Just sayin’ priorities. These guys can you believe them Oleg.”
Oleg, “Ya you guys are arse holes.”
Mitchel, “Hey there Oleg I wanna place an order for magical sheet music. What do ya say ol’ buddy.”
Oleg,“Fine come on in lets get this over with so hopefully you can get back to SAVING OUR LIVES!”
Schmidtaki, “Hey Oleg, we gotta talk reward for these heads its gotta be like double. After all it is double the head.”
As Schmidtaki and Mitchel pursued Oleg into his shop the rest of our friends turns away from us disappointed. Mitchel placed his order for songs of Solid Note and Sleep, they should arrive on the 19th of Calistril. Schimidtaki argued with Oleg for a better reward while Mitchel placed his order. Oleg succumbed to Schmidtaki’s persevering argument and in the end nearly got double the listed reward. We left the fort with its inhabitants a little frustrated with us. One of the guards jeered us as we rode through the gates, “Stag Lord today, right?”
We rode through out the day and through heavy snow to finder ourselves at the on the outskirts of the Stag Lord fort well after nightfall. We decided to hunker down in a small grove of pine trees. There as the snow fell, we began to formulate our plan of attack.
Rainfall," Ok gentlemen, how are we going to do this?"
Aramis, “You know I think much better on after a drink and I could really use something to warm me up.”
Mitchel, “I could whip you something up. If only we had a cup.”
Rainfall, “Aren’t we in the possession of a rather fine pewter mug?”
Mitchel waving his fingers above the mug and it filled to the brim with red wine, “Ah Yes, Here it is and here you go Aramis.”
Aramis took a deep drink of the magic beverage and promptly spit it out, “Until you can conjure something worth drinking, stop offering me this swill.”
The clamor of horses broke up our discussion. They passed close to us but did not notice us. We watched them make there way to the fort and enter it.
Schmidtaki, “Ok boys, drinking aside we need a plan. There not just going to open the doors for us.”
Rainfall, " We do have cloths from the various bandits that we’ve fought, and most of them are not even bloodstained. And don’t we have their password."
Aramis, "Ya it goes something like ‘By the Bloody Bones of St. Gilmorg, who wants to know?’ "
Schmidtaki, “Ya but that leaves us at the whims of bandits. Plus that’s at least a week old. If they’ve changed it were screwed.”
Mitchel, “Then what should we do?”
Schmidtaki, “I can get in there no problem. Open the gates then you run in there and we take these bastards down.”
Rainfall, “And lets not forget about those undead, I am not looking forward to revisiting the criminals that I’ve beheaded.”
Schmidtaki, “Won’t matter. The corpses will never see me coming. No one will. Get as close to the gate as you can without being seen. The snow will help.”
Aramis, “And how long are we supposed wait for you?”
Schmidtaki, “Five minutes, tops.”
Aramis, “What will be the signal if your in trouble?”
Schmidtaki, “Don’t need a signal for trouble, I am trouble.”
Aramis, “Uh so we can of course get them down fast, cause we’re bringing all these guys, I mean, we’ll be in trouble if we don’t take them down quick.”
Rainfall, “Uhh I think this is a pretty good plan, we should be able to pull it off. What do you think Mitchel? Can you give me a number crunch real quick?”
Mitchel, “Uhhh.. yeah gimme a sec… I’m coming up with thirty-two point three three, repeating of course, percentage, of survival.”
Aramis, “That’s a lot better than we usually do, uhh, alright, you think we’re ready guys?”
Schmidtaki, “All right chums, Guns up! Let’s do this! LEEROOOOOOOY JEEENKIIIIIINSSS.”
Rainfall, “(incredulous) … Oh my God he just ran in.”
Schmidtaki vanished and all we could see is a trail of foot prints in the snow. We watched the flickering lights of the fort nervously. We watched and waited for any sign or signal. After a few minutes, we noticed a rope on the wall of the and began wondering how long it had been there. The minutes passed like hours and our nerves began to get the better of us. It could have been ten minutes or ten hours when we finally decided that we decided to brake from the plan and make a run for the gate.
Together we charged the gate. Mitchel lead the charge but I quickly over took him. As we got closer I could see the gate shutter violently. It opened slightly then slammed shut again as we all made it to the gate. Mitchel panted out of breath, “Why does it sound like pegs coming loose while attempting to open a heavy gate?” At that moment it flew open again just long enough for Arimis to power slide forward on his knees while leaning backward. I then scaled the palisades and jumped down into the fort. No sooner did I hop the fence did Schmidtaki open the gate one final time and wedge it open.
The fort erupted in chaos as the bandits rushed to defend themselves. In the noise I could pick out a an angry sort of hooting but I could not readily identify. At one side Schmidtaki was manning the wheel that opens portcullis, at the other bandits were shooting arrows at us, and in front of us was an open building filled with more bandits. Schmidtaki then ignited the entrance to the central building.
Making our way across the flaming threshold, we fought our way in the partially ruined building to interrupting a heated game of poker. Inside I could make out a portcullis set into the West wall, the East wall was partially missing, and to the South there was another room. The only thing about the common thugs inside that proved a challenge was their numbers. We carved through rogues one by one but they did have a few tricks up their sleeves.
First a hunched backed lummox of a man lumbered the room, to joined the fray swinging his club. Following behind him was a dark, tattooed figure with an obvious taste for pain and cruelty. He walked across the room and pulled a lever. The portcullis fell forward dramatically as the tattooed figure walked back across the room without looking back. A large owlbear emerged from behind the portcullis and began attacking the nearest targets, which at this time was us.
Chet took this moment to triumphantly jumped across the fire in the entrance while screaming, “No one tosses a dwarf!” He then chant vigorously in Terran and a small rocky human emerged from the earth to fight for us. Aramis and Schmidtaki began to battle the owlbear. Even in the heat of the battle Aramis found a moment to jab at Chet, “Hey Chet you know you could have just walked around the fire, right?” Geronimo III joined the others in fighting the great beast only to miss. Mitchel would not have this and threw a handful of snake scales at his companion. Geronimo immediately attacked again and to our amazement he tripped the owlbear. The owlbear did not last long after that.
As the owlbear was being dispatched a badger appeared and it spewed forth a cloud of spiders that enveloped Schmidtaki. Crawling with spiders Schmidtaki managed to keep himself from vomiting, but began to succumb to dozens of dozens of tiny venomous spider bites.
Mitchel and I hung back defending our collective rear from the bandits. Mitchel clasped his hands around an imaginary ball in front of him, rolled his hands around it, and a ball of flames burst into existence. The burning sphere attacked the bandits in front of him. Meanwhile I took my time tripping bandits one at a time and taking the opportunity to stomp them on the ground.
As the fight went on the hunchbacked man was brought down and a moment later the tattooed figure dragged him off. Pouring a potion into his mouth the beast of a man was revived. The two of them turned to returned to the fray as the badger spat balls of acid at us all. Behind tbem emerged a man dressed in a chain mail and a scar over his right eye. The man strode towards the tattooed man.
Tattooed figure, “Akiros, GOD DAMN IT. What are you doing? Help us.”
Akiros then attacked the tattooed figure wordlessly.
Now bleeding the tattooed figure said, “What the fuck are you doing?”
Akiros tore off his stag amulet, throws it in the face of the tattooed figure, and attacks again.
Mitchell, “Oh ho HO!!!! He’s off the Heroine!!! GALANOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.”
It was not long before the tattooed figure, the brute, and the magical badger were all defeated. A moment later The earth elemental crumbled to dust and Chet mourned him saying, “Earth elemental 611 we hardly knew yee but what a fighter he was!” The battle seemed to be going our way but we were still being peppered by arrows from behind. It was at this moment that the horned demon, the Stag Lord, struck us. His arrows pierced our defenses with uncanny accuracy, striking us in ways we could not defend.
Mitchel then yelled out to the Stag Lord, “Nice bow, jerk! Lets see how you do without it.” Pulling out a stick he chanted in a strange language, he bent and twisted the branch. The Stag Lord’s bow twisted and bent nearly breaking. The branch snapped in Mitchel’s hands and the Stag Lord’s bow snapped back to its original shape. Mitchel was disappointed to see the bow was unharmed. All the while I continued to face off against the archers near the entrance of the fort.
Determined not to suffer from the Stag Lord’s deadly aim, our party charged him. Pushing him back into his den, he shot as he retreated. When he ran out of room to retreat he tumbled through us as our group attacked him in concert. Aramis bravely fought on despite being badly wounded by the Stag Lord’s precise arrows. Schmidtaki just as badly wounded, though he was nowhere to be found. The Stag Lord, free from his den began fighting his way back towards the exit of the fort.
The Stag Lord did not leave the fort, instead he rounded and with a devilish grin he continuing to rain arrows upon us. It was at this moment that Schmidtaki appeared before the Stag Lord and struck him with frightening speed. With one blow he lopped off the Stag Lords arm, disemboweled him with a second blow, and finished by chopping off the man’s head. The Stag Lord all but exploded in a shower of blood. Chet then shouted, “Kill Steal! IN THE FACE!” The remaining bandits collapsed to their knees and terrified of the man, now soaked in the blood of their leader, who appeared out of nowhere to kill their master.
With that the battle was won. The remaining bandits and Akiros surrendered themselves to us. Among the prisoners was Falgrim Sneeg, the man wanted by Kesten. Alive he would fetch us four masterworked weapons. Akiros requested that he be pardoned for his part in banditry for aiding us in the attack against the Stag Lord and his continued help in undoing the damage. He showed us where all the goods and treasures were hidden around the fort. Taking inventory of the fort would take Schmidtaki the next couple of hours, much to his delight.