Infernal Contract #2135746546845748976354685646


Infernal Contract: 2135746546845748976354685646

The details of this contract were never reviewed. Ever.



Vyers, “I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Soren, “You worry too much. This is a great idea.”

Vyers, “I don’t know, it seems pretty complicated.”

Soren, “Complicated!?!? … Well maybe a little, but its fool proof. And if you can think of a better way to house all of these pastry fish, I’d really like to hear it.”

Vyers, “I can think of at least three easier…”

Soren, “Really? Then why are we literately tripping over fish bowls? They are everywhere.”

Vyers, “Still do you really think its a good idea to sell your soul? I mean, I wouldn’t call dealing with a devil fool proof."

Soren, “I already told you. We sign the contract, work a little magic, and then kill the devil. We get our own plane and nobody looses a soul. Its a simple three step process, fool proof.”

Vyers, “Well ya, but there are a lot of intermediate steps that your skipping…”
Soren, “Details. Let me worry about the details.”

Vyers, “And why do we have to do this in a war zone?”

Soren, “Don’t be so dramatic. Pitax and Dun Malta haven’t been at war for months. Months!”

Vyers, “OK, but why do we need to do this in Dun Malta?”

Soren, “Well the our agents were right. Just about the entire Stolen Lands are unusually planarly active. They are sort of… dimensional slant.”

Vyers, “I don’t think they used the word active. I reading the report right now. It I see the words unusual, damaged, erratic, and unstable.”

Soren, “Gimme that. Besides, it gives us a chance to check out this Fochlucan Academy. Everybody is talking about it. We got a killer stipend for doing a handful of lectures. Fun stuff.”

Vyers, “Fine lets do it but I want to go on the record that I think this is a bad idea.”

Soren, “That’s the spirit. Now lets summon a devil!”

Shortly after Soren summoned a contract Devil and the negotiation began.


Soren, “Ya, ya, ya, let me give you my vision for my plane.”


Soren immediately plunged head long into the description of his vision for the new demi-plane. The night quickly slipped away, the morning quickly turned into noon, and before they knew it it was midnight on the following night.

Contract Devil, “Ok, I think we have a clear understanding of your expectations and desires. With a few caveats, unscrupulous book keeping, and some shady dealings of my own, it can be done. So then there is a mater or the payment.”

Soren, “Done. You can keep the contract, I don’t even want to look at it. Here’s a blank check, write whatever you want. Give me the keys in the mail by noon.”

Contract Devil, “Good to know. There is your contract. In exchange for two souls, that will be collected at the time of your death of course, you get your own permanent demi-plane. Guaranteed to last two millennia, they usually last longer but the warranty only covers you to for two.”

The Contract Devil, that had been writing since the moment he arrived, dots the last I. He lays two finger lengths of metal on the desk and slams a fist on the desk. Two keys pop up from the scorched desk.

Soren, “No, Vyers, stop drooling over the keys, they’re evil. What do you mean two souls? Both of us?”

Contract Devil, “Well yes, given what your specification it will cost you a bit more. Based on your previous enthusiasm with regard to terms and stipulations, I didn’t believe that this would be an issue.”

Soren, “Vyers, keep your tentacles away from that pen.”

Contract Devil, “We haven’t begun construction, so we can stop right now if that is your desire.”

Soren, “Haven’t started, but the keys…”

Contract Devil, “Yes they are keyed to your new plane. But it will take a few days to complete.”

Soren, “Vyers, you put me down right this instant, or I will teleport us home, and then we are going to have a nice long talk about accepting demi-planes from strangers.”

Vyers, “But my pastryfish!”

Soren, “I thought you were against this?”

Vyers, “What? That doesn’t sound like me.”

Contract Devil, “So then gentlemen do we have a deal?”

Vyers, “Come on Soren! This was your plan all along”

Soren, “Your right. Lets do this.”

Contract Devil, “Just sign here, here, here, and here. Initial here and here. A drop of blood here. Now remember to press hard it has to soak through two copies.”

Soren, “Ok done.”

Vyers, “Done.”

Contract Devil, “Now if you’ll kindly brake the line that makes magic circle so that I can begin.”

Vyers, “There you go.”

Soren, “NO wait!.”

And with that the contract devil disappears in a puff of greasy sulfurous smoke.

Soren, “You let the devil GO!”

Vyers, “So he could start working on our plane.”

Soren, “He took both contracts!”

Vyers, “You’re the one who told him to do that.”

Soren, “We were supposed to supervise and then kill him. I didn’t even get his name. I don’t think I can summon him again.”

Vyers, “I told you this was a bad idea.”


At noon the next day, the Ornelos brothers are sitting down to lunch when they are approached by a dark haired traveler.

Contract Devil, “Well gentlemen, it took some doing but your plane is ready. I take it you still have your keys.”

Vyers, “Of course.”

Contract Devil, “Then lets take a tour.”

A few moments later the three were on the plane of The Acadamini.

Soren, “Wow its all here.”

Vyers, “I’m going for a swim.”

Soren, “Vyers, get back here.”

Vyers, “Oh yea, plan B.”

Contract Devil, “Yup we took a few artistic liberties but, I think we really captured the essence of The Acadamini. Wait. What is plan B.”

Soren, “NOW!”

Together the dynamic duo made short work of the devil. As the devil’s body crumbles into charred brimstone Soren picks over the contracts it carried.

Soren, “Lets sort through these contracts and find ours.”

Vyers, “I’m going for a swim.”

Soren, “Vyers.”

Vyers, “Right. Our immortal souls.”

Soren, “Shit, where is it.”

Vyers, “There sure are a lot of Steves here. Are they all the same person?”

Soren, “I don’t think so. I looks like he was collecting people named Steve. See, different last name. Different middle name.”

Vyers, “Should we just burn the pile?”

Soren, “I don’t know some of these Steves could be real dicks.”

Vyers, “But if we burn the pile were sure to get rid of our contract.”

Soren, “Burn it. Burn it all.”

Vyers, “There we go. And If possible, things are even more normal now, than they ever were.”

Infernal Contract #2135746546845748976354685646

Kingmaker wizejester