27th of Abadius, 4712AR
Today started marvelously before quickly collapsing into a huge mess. I awoke to the smell of bacon frying in a pan. I emerged to the sight of Mitchel frying bacon in a large pan as Geronimo stared intently and licking his lips. I took a set next to them and began chatting with them. Mitchel began putting the cooked bacon in a bowl off to the side. Adding more bacon, he then ringed the pan with lumps of bread. Our normally hard and dry trail bread began to soften and take in the bacon grease. All the while the sun rose over the picturesque landscape on a fairly warm winter morning.
All of the sudden Chet’s tent erupted with shouts, “Where is it, where is it! Where is the SOAP!” We looked up from the sizzling bacon to the puzzling sight of Chet’s chicken being punted out of the side of his tent. Swinging his ax furiously, Chet shredded his way out. He turned to Schmidtaki, “You, you did this!” Schmidtaki stood there shrugging his shoulders, apparently washing one of the horses.
Clad only in his boxers, Chet raised his ax above his head and charged Scmidtaki. Deftly ducking the ax, Schmidtaki instinctively drew his blade and cut the dwarf in one fluid motion. Stepping back to avoid Chet’s second swing he again could not help but strike back. This time he landed a serious blow. Chet took a step back to uttered a short prayer ending it with an refrain that shattered the air, hurting but not stopping Schmidtaki.
At this point the shock of seeing our friends attack each other wore off, Mitchel and Geronimo joined the fray. “It must be a spell, an enchantment, we have to stop them.” I jumped up to stop Chet, striking vital points I aimed to slow him down. Schmidtaki fought his way back to the horses as Mitchel and Geronimo approched. As he saddled up Geronimo grievously clawed his back. He slumped unconscious in the saddle before falling to the ground.
After wards Mitchel and I tended to our wounded and tied up the prisoners. In this rare instance they were one and the same. As they began to wake up my stomach tensed with the memory of Mitchel’s interrogation techniques.
Mitchel began to examine Chet, “Chet are you ok. What is this all about.”
Chet "Soap, Soap, Soap, SoAp, Sooap. Dirty filthy lair, SOAP, I knew it was him and that TREE! The tree he’s working with the tree.
Schmidtaki, “I was just washing my horse, he got dirty. Then he attacked me, I don’t know why. I had to defend myself.”
Chet, “He tried to fondle the soap out of me”
Mitchel looked at me and shook his head, “Really all this over soap?”
I replied, “I am as surprised as you are. Honestly I though you would be the first to go insane.”
Having quietly slipped his bonds Schmidtaki stood next to me also shaking his head, “I know can you believe it?”
As he dusted himself off we asked Schmidtaki what happened. “I don’t know, there were some fay or something in his tent they stole his soap for some reason. So I followed them into the forest and they were diving up the soap.” (Bluff 29)
Sensing something wasn’t right I asked, “Who are ‘they’?” (Sense Motive NAT 20)
Schmidtaki, “More of those cricket people. So I snuck up on them, climbed up a tree, and them dropped in on them from above. Most of them scattered with the soap, but I ended up wrestling with four or five of them for the last piece of soap. I managed to subdue three. Holding one in each arm while pinning another down under my heal. Then began the negotiations. Through a combination of diplomacy, intimidation, and my quick wits I was able to negotiate the release of the cricket people in exchange for a piece of the soap. Apparently soap is real big with the fey. They love the stuff.”
Rainfall, “Ok and then what happened?”
“Ya so we all ended up laughing about it and the fey invited me for some tea and crumpets. We topped off the event with a little singing.”
Mitchel, “Wait so you sing?” (Sense Motive 7)
Schmidtaki, “Oh yeah I was well known for singing at the local taverns. Even taught the little buggers a thing or two.” (Bluff 17) “So I headed back after a couple of songs, but apparently one of those mischievous fey got my horse all dirty so I decided to wash it, so if you don’t mind I am going to dry off my horse before it freezes to death. You know those fey aren’t so bad after all.”
I tried to get him to add more to his fantastic story, “Interesting. So that’s what happened.”
Schmidtaki, “Yup, exactly. I actually saved the soap”
While I looked at him confused I said, “Ok…”
Schmidtaki, “Well that and they told me where the Lost Elk Temple is. Its south of here we’ll head that way today.”
Eventually we got Chet to reluctantly heal Schmidtaki a mostly symbolic gesture that I hope will help us put this mess behind us. We eventually decided to continue our travels and explore to the South as Schmidtaki suggested. It went well and was uneventful. When we camped it was a silent and paranoid night.